blessthebutt:

my favorite flavor of cake is more

vinebox:

The white person at the end of the scary movie

chidoree:

if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock

"I want to text you. Just to remind you that I’m still here. But then I remember that you know I’m here. You just don’t care."
--Midnight thoughts (I won’t do this again)

radboysehun:

im ok w spending $40 on food but wont buy a $40 shirt

bonus:

i like to tell people when i need to go pee

anus:

spotting a hot person

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(  ͡°  ͜ʖ  ͡°)

(  ͡ °  ͜ʖ  ͡ °)

(  ͡  °  ͜ʖ  ͡  °)

thinsiqnificant:

my mom bought me a camouflage sweater today and i was like mom why did u do that and she said “so u can go hunting for men”

cybertwinks:

the only people who ever call me pretty are either old or online

hallelujah-youngandloaded:

actualucifer:

actualucifer:

my neighbours kept coming up to me and going “we need a special greeting!” so i entered it as “hail Satan” and now they say “hail Satan” every time they see me

guys can we just
this is animal crossing
i put that in the tags but nobody is reblogging with tags and i’m worried that everyone actually thinks i live on a street where people yell HAIL SATAN at each other

well you certainly live up to your url

omgamole:

you dont know frustration until youve tried plugging something into a socket in the dark

©ID